HOW TO SURVIVE FINANCIAL CRISES: TIPS FOR MARRIED COUPLES
Job loss, a lay off, fraud, getting fired,
robbery, legal issues, credit card debt. In a moment, any of these
instantaneous events can shatter your financial plan. At times, these events do
not come alone, but they come in groups-event after event.
Unfortunately, life is filled with disappointment,
frustration, and surprise. So what do you do when you get the pink card? How do
you wade through a series of financial failures? “10% is what happens and 90%
is how you react “.
Remember this quote during a family financial
meltdown. Nerves wear thin and perspective is tainted. If couples do not
proceed with caution, there might be even more losses (in addition to financial
losses) on the way.
Talk openly, Communicate, and set goals
Financial difficulty
brings a slew of questions: What are we going to do now? How will we pay bills?
What if “X” happens? While all these questions are buzzing around, talk with
your spouse and communicate. Decide on a direction you both support and start
looking forward. Commit to moving through the process together, no alone.
Switch to
survival mode
Bring in the spending tsar who reduces
spending to absolute necessities. I suggest you write your needs list and then
cut out half the stuff. This is the time to get the most mileage out of every
single dollar. While your life might feel completely out of control this is one
area you can control. Spend carefully and intentionally.
Acknowledge
Emotions
You will experience a
bunch of emotions from bitterness to guilt to frustration. The emotions will
impact your relationship with your spouse, your children, your extended family,
your friends and even your faith. Did I miss anything? You may be tempted to
lash out to find a place to release your frustration. When your talk about your
emotions use phrases like, “I feel …” This makes others less defensive.
Avoid Blame
At this point, once
things are damaged, it is not the time to figure out who is to blame. This will
only serve to push your spouse away. Your frayed nerves will do more damage
than good if you let them run rampant. There will be a time for reflection and
debriefing, but in the midst of the chaos you will do more harm than good if
you start to play the blame game.
Accept help
Accepting help is
difficult because of one reason- pride. Perhaps you will have a new favorite
Bible verse “it is better to give than receive.” God may once again put you in
the position of the giver, but for now
this might just be your own time to receive. Standing together is the function
of the community, and in this case standing alone is a sign of selfishness.
Minimize
pressure
If you allow it,
financial concern can completely consume you. Schedule time in your day to
focus your energy on other chores or tasks. Removing yourself from the worry
and strain will help remove the burden.
Turn to your
faith
When the world seems
to be falling apart you will need a rock upon which to stand. Continue or begin
a habit of daily devotionals and seek the will and presence of God.
Count your
blessings
Yes count your
blessings. Things may be bad, or awful, or even horrible. But are there
probably still many blessings in your life? Focusing solely on your problems and
your lack of stuffs will only cause depression. Remember that around every
corner there is a blessing, if you are looking for it.
Don’t be afraid
to dream
If you have just lust
your job, this is a great chance to dream. What am I passionate about doing?
What have I always wanted to try? This crisis might simply be a hidden
opportunity. Look ahead and have a direction, the time may be right to turn a
hobby into a business or even trying a new way to make money. Just be sure to
ask the right questions to reduce risk.
Stay in control
You may be tempted to
throw up your hands and say” I don’t care anymore”. Creditors want to drive you
to this state where you just give them what they want to get you off their
back. Remember you don’t need to answer the phone, whatever you do make sure
you break the dept cycle by refusing to take on more dept. Digging deeper is
not your solution. Don’t be a good person who makes bad money choices.
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